The other day, I was grumpy and I had this meaningless writing conversation on skype with a friend, well no one is perfect it happens even to the best right ?! Even if I perfectly knew that this conversation was going nowhere, I couldn’t stop myself, or at least, i would have stop myself at some point if my friend did not wrote back ” This conversation is boring“.
I don’t know why but this little sentence, just 4 words, demonstrative pronoun / noun / verb / adjective really hurts me or at least hurts my feelings.
That sounds stupid I know but it’s the way to tell me this fact who really hurts my pride. If you didn’t want to keep going on this conversation, why don’t you tell me before, or why don’t you tell me that you were busy and need to stop this conversation to go back to your occupations. Ok that’s almost the same than telling me this conversation is boring but in a better way, a more appropriate at least. I would have understood the meaning of this (or not) , but it would have not hurt my pride this way.
Don’t worry, you can count on me to tell him my way to think or just to not writing him back for a couple of minutes, that’s mean a very long time for me and about the same thing that yelling at him in fact ! By the way is, have you ever notice the power of the three little points, you know this : ” … ” or how not to tell that you’re really thinking in your mind ! That’s brilliant how with 3 little points you can keep a mystery according to the tone of the conversation, specially when you’re talking about feelings, it’s just a simple way to tell everything you want to, without telling anything ! I have to admit that this is a very convenient way of writing…
Anyway, my friend realize quite soon that he crossed the line and thanks God, did apologize himself for his way to talk to me this day, and me for being such a grumpy woman that day too… That could maybe sounds silly to get to this point, but we know each other for so long now that we really don’t want to be mad again each other for this kind of stupid facts.
I think it’s really important to be respectful and to be careful on the way you’re talking to your friends, because sometimes, specially if you don’t realize it, you can cross the line without noticing it and loose a friend or getting mad with him for no reason but a stupid sentence as This conversation is boring…
The point is, when someone is not talking / writing to you in a proper way, do you tell him / her ? Or do you just “let it go” when it happens and giving him the right to keep going on to talk / write to you this way ?
I don’t think I will take it seriously if someone told me that. In fact, I’ll ask them to change topic they want to discuss. Well, it’s good that he apologized to you right away. I’m sure he’ll be very careful next time. ๐
I was pretty much grumpy that day ๐
But the most important is not the sentence but the way how you told things and this time it wasn’t “his usual” way of writing me.
I’m sure next time he will be very careful too ! But my friend is a gentleman so, I’m not really worried about it ๐
You make me visit back my old conversations with friends. I don’t think anybody has told me that the conversation is boring. But possibly people leaving abruptly could be a sign that I am boring…ouch! I never thought of that possibility. Let me agree quite pompously that my friends have always enjoyed chatting with me :-). But now you really make me wonder…… I would never tell the person that something is boring. I will make some excuse and go away. Again it depends on how close you are with a person. Very close – it does not matter what I say or the other person says. We just say it and I don’t think we take it hard on ourselves. Else, I have this habit of referring to a “boring” conversation that we had, sometime down the line and we have a laugh about it :-).
As you say, it depends how close you are with the other person and me and my friend are really close, so that’s why he told me that. Still now it is funny to think about it because I was in a very grumpy day and he just came to talk to me only to say “Hello” and couldn’t really have a conversation at this time. Well he explained me this point when he apologized about the 4 little words… ๐ Sometimes you’re getting so close to someone that you just forgot that the other is not in your mind and can’t know what you’re doing right now ( if you’re busy or not, if you just want to drop a Hello just to know if the other is feeling good today… ) ๐