I’ve thought a lot lately:
Thought about my back, about my work, about another work that I could do, about reading, about opening or not a new blog in French about murder books, about opening again my old French blog… Not that I’ve really closed this blog at time, in fact, I’ve just stopped to write in it. Just like I’ve explain in the beginning of this blog, I wasn’t satisfied about my French “columns”. Too messy, too superficial, not enough interesting, not enough funny and I can go on over and over !
Then yesterday something just stroke me. My column wasn’t really the problems, actually, I’ve written a couple of really good posts. Some of them are still popular, like the one about the Employment Office or some columns have just been unexploited like the ones about how to explain some old French expressions or about the books.
I wanted at time to write everyday and I wasn’t very patient enough to have some real good readers following me. I was far away to be an outsider in the French blogosphere but deeply in me, I was dying to become one too ! To have a nice little blog, reading by so many people with lots of comments to all my post, just like some top ten French bloggers ! And in another way, I couldn’t really write in it anymore because I was feeling block. Block by the people who actually reading it, like my family members, my mother and brother ?!
I wanted this blog to be mine but in some way, my mother just find it and knowing that I was read by my mother and my brother was a little bit scary to me. I didn’t like it and I couldn’t be really me neither. That’s sound stupid now that I’m putting it black on white on paper my screen but that’s true. I’ve never been really close to my mother and even less from my brother so I was just like petrify to write, to expose myself to them. I began to lose inspiration first then just the will to write.
But yesterday I’ve taken a decision, I’m gonna write again in my old French Blog (2 years in October) and because I didn’t write anything in it in more than 6 months means that maybe my family won’t read it again… I hope but even if they did, I don’t care because now I will be writing about interesting things like my path to find another job !
And who cares about the top ten French Bloggers ? Not me, not anymore. I’ve been back to this blog yesterday and I’ve noticed how bad was their blogs in did ! They got a nice design yes but the topics, the posts ? They are writing about everything without explaining nothing at all. It’s mean-less. How could they be so loved anyway ? That’s a mystery.
And then I’ve just realizes something more important, I have readers ! Good ones ! Some readers who came to read my blog even months after they stopped to write, they were coming back and was happy to read from me ! So yes for this readers, I’m gonna start to blog again in French ! But don’t worry, that doesn’t mean that I will stop writing in English…
I’m glad to hear that you don’t stop writing English blog.
You may be busy to write two blogs
Anyway congrats to your French blog.
Being without job now, I have a plenty of time to work on it !
Maybe my French blog could even give me some inspiration to my English one ! Who knows ! I will not write every day on my French blog neither on this one but I will try to publish between 2 or 3 posts a week on every blog at least !
I absolutely love your writing! It’s so natural, and you speak from the heart. That’s what always seems to attract readers, I’m sure in any language.
Like you I wonder if what I’m doing is valuable, should I do somethingelse, should I focus on writing a book instead of wasting my time blogging. But then I think I’d miss the immediate satisfaction of being read. Spending months and years writing one thing, a book, without knowing if it’ll ever be read is too discouraging to me. I’d love to do both, but blogging already consumes too much of me. Writing a book would make me feel I’d disappeared from the face of the earth. I don’t know how authors survive. I guess they hang out with other writers all the time and complain to each other. We can do that too…complain and compliment one another in our efforts to blog.
so good luck…and know that i’m in the same boat as you…if that helps…hugmamma. 🙂
Sometimes it’s quite difficult to blog in French because I don’t have lot of comments !
It’s happened quite often that some posts don’t have any comments at all… So of course, with time, I just lose the motivation to write in French anymore but now I’m over it, if I want to write a post that I like, I will…. 🙂
That’s nice to feel support and read from others bloggers, the best way to feel that we are read in fact ! 🙂