Archive for the ‘Working Life’ Category

I’ve just realize that’s been a long time since my last post ! I’m truly sorry about it.

I was quite busy this last months and honestly, I didn’t know what to write about and was worrying about finding a new job and what to do at this point of my life.

In few days, I will turn 30 years old and I still don’t have found a new job ! I was applying for some production assistant / manager jobs in movie’s or documentary’s production but I never had any answer. So I’ve changed my mind, try to work for Event’s agencies, my profile fits but I do not have the network. Damn!

So here comes the last solution, going back on “school” again, oups, that’s tough to accept. So ok, here I go but I have to do an adult professional training and that’s not so easy to find and worst, what should I do ? I mean, there is some adult professional training but not something that I will love.

It takes me months to “know” and even then, I’m not so sure that I will “love” it like I loved my previous job. Well, I don’t have any choice isn’t it, I have to deal with my hernia and to work. So when I decided that I could maybe like to be a Community Manager and why not, study HTML5 et CSS 3 to maybe change later into a Web designer.

That’s exactly when I made out my mind about it that I get this job interview for a production manager in a little young films agency that I would love ! They are doing a lot of international films, Ecologist activist, well exactly what I like. Well I still don’t know if I will be hired or not, the job interview will be the 20th of July, so let’s cross our fingers about it !

So lots happened but not so much neither, plus once I’ve blogged in French about all of this, I didn’t want to talk about it in English… I don’t know, maybe because I have said what I wanted to and no need to go back again here about it. I’m not sure if I’m very clear about it ?

Well anyway, I think I’m going to do some effort and to post more often, maybe not every week (I don’t even post that much on my French’s blogs) but at least once in a while every months.


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Will you see this glass half full or half empty ?

That’s a fact, purely and simply the true.

We are pessimist from nature, always looking to the bad happening to us and not the good. We are particularly good to failed in our professional life and not to allowing ourself to be finally happy and to get what we really want. We just use some stupid and crazy excuses like: there is no way that I can do this, this is too complicated / crazy / dangerous / stupid / impossible*.

It’s really occurred to me while I was doing my personal branding with a group of 6 others people. Most of the people present there were doing it because they had to be fired first of their jobs, even if they hated it, to begin to ask themselves the good questions. Is that job was really good for me ? Am I happy in my life ? Am I doing what I want ?

Well of course, I wasn’t exactly in the same situation because I was doing a job that I loved but I can’t do it anymore because of a prolapsed disc (hernia) but mainly because when I wasn’t happy with my previous job (assistant camera in the cinema), I just quit and changed it ! What it seems completely crazy for French people to do ! Why this ? Just because I’ve lost a job situation, a kind of stability and mostly because I won’t have to ask myself what would be the future for me. Well now, I have to find something else that I would like to do but that is another story.

The more crazy / stupid* thing is to stay in a job situation that not makes you happy but even worst that you makes you feel sick / stressed / depressed* !!

Every one around us just telling us, from an unconscious way that we can’t do what we want, we couldn’t achieve it ! We are just programmed to fail. If we succeed in our life that must be because we used our connections, we were really very lucky or pay some people to get what we wanted*.  But never because we were working hard to get what we really wanted in our life !

We just can’t succeed, that’s non-French !

And this state of mind begin in school when we are kids. If we have suddenly one of the best score of a test in school, that’s not because you were working hard at home to study it but because you were cheating ! True story ! Even worst, one of my French teachers breaks me down in front of all the class because she couldn’t accept that I’ve written alone a home work’s essay, no for her it was too good to be my paper, it has to be my parent’s essay ! Yep that’s right !! So instead of having a good score and some compliments, I’ve been humiliated in front of everyone and got a really bad score ! What was the result of it ? Well I’ve been writing the next essays to “fit” to her bad student’s standard, that means a way down my owns ! I guess in her mind, a girl would not spend her time to read books on her spare time instead of watching TV. That’s quite sad isn’t it ?

Yes we are programmed to failed, to be unhappy and to communicated our depressed feelings in some kind of way.

Take this simple example, someone who is simply happy in his / her life, smiling will make others jealous of him / her ! The morning, instead of telling something nice and lovely when we meet someone, we just kiss on the check, barely tells a “good morning” and every one is going to do his / her tasks of the day. No compliments, no nice words !

Where are the positive and lovely thoughts to share with others ? Does one person happy and optimist will not pass her happiness and good state of mind to her entourage ?

Why we, French people, are not good to this ? Why are we so pessimist instead of being such lovely and optimist people ?

* Delete where inapplicable

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The time is spinning so fast ! It seems like I’ve returned from holidays yesterday but actually it’s more like 3 weeks ago…

I have been pretty busy !! Yes that is the start of the academic year so with this, the time for me to contact all the administrations offices, unemployment office, occupational medicine… And believe me, this a full-time job !!

Do you know the cartoon “The Twelve Task of Asterix” with the famous scene of the place that send you mad ? Let me ring your bell…

Well believe me, this is still like this !! I want just a simple paper but I can’t ask it to the unemployment office because they are not doing it anymore. I have to call a phone number, the vocal server of the unemployment office but of course, this is a vocal server so there is anyone answering except machine… It looks a lot like :

” f you want to get access to to you file tape 1, to your payment tape 2….but we remind you that you can have access to all this thing on our website”

Except of course for my special request where I have to talk to someone. Did I forget to mention that all the phone calls are paying. Damned administration’s office !!!

So after a couple of hours to trying to call them for join someone, I finally get in contact with a real person…. except that the communication was cut in the middle of my request !! Same thing the second and the third time, that would be to easy, isn’t it ?

Yes it is really sending you mad for good !! Specially when it is the same thing to get an appointment with the occupational medicine.

Oh yes I have almost forget to tell you that to get a new professional training, I have to get my appointment to the occupational medicine and then to get another appointment for the “handicap worker’s office” and then maybe, yes maybe, I could get a new professional training ! I am nearly to become completely mad about this, that’s for sure !

So for now, I still haven’t work on my holiday’s photos ! But don’t worry, I did not forget you about this and you will see it soon !!

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I’m not in the mood to write today.

I can’t put my thoughts together, I can’t think clearly because the only think who really is obsessing me lately is about my professional life. What will I do next ? What job that I like can I do ?

I know that I could find some jobs just for the money as a waitress or in a shop but that’s not something that I like, it will just be to pay the rent, just earning money. That will be ok for a couple of months maybe more or maybe less but will come a day where I will have enough of it and will want to do something that I will really like.

But here’s the problem : I don’t know what I will really like to do ! It seems silly but I likes work in the cinema before, then one day I had enough, then I really liked to work in the theatre / music but my body just told me that it wasn’t ok. So here am I… Lost in my thoughts and with no idea or any clues about what I will become next.

Working in the publishing world ? In the communication or as a RP ? Advertising ‘s world ? Cinema or music production ? I don’t know !! I even had an idea about opening a coffee bookshop store…

I have to change for the third time of work ( I don’t count all the students and summer jobs that I had of course… ) and this time I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to miss the good jobs for me.

So I’m trying so hardly to think about this question: What do I really like to do ? But it seems like to be a foolish question, the most impressive brainstorming at the end. I don’t know, I just don’t know.

How a such simple question like this one could be the most difficult to answer ?

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Well I have to admit this last couple of weeks have not been the best of the year. I can easely resume it this way:

  1. Trying to get an quick appointment with a a rheumatologost
  2. Reading to killing time between calls
  3. Finally getting an appointment after 5 days of calls !
  4. Waiting to see the doctor and reading
  5. Finally going to see the doctor
  6. Have to wait one more week without painkiller to know how I feel now
  7. Going back to the doctor
  8. Going better but I can’t carrying weight anymore.

So yes I’m recovering and I will going better but if I don’t want to have a surgery in the next years, my rheumatologist strongly recommend me to not carrying weight anymore, so to strongly think about changing job.

Well he did not tell me to change job exactly but to think about what kind of job I could do in theatre without carrying heavy things… And honestly, have you ever seen lot of stage manager who do not carrying weight, do you ? Because I don’t… Plus, they already take the decision they do not needed me at my work. So no more job for me in this theatre / music hall…

so what's next ? So honestly, I’m feeling a little bit down right now. I’ve the feeling to be to the exact same point than a year ago, except maybe than now I’m living with my awesome boyfriend. I’ve just changed career and now I’m here wondering the same questions again….

What will I do with my life ? What should I do, what would I love to do ? What can I do as career ?

That’s really not easy specially when you have a cinema degree ! What the hell can I do with an art degree in this world ? How could I expect to change job when in France it’s already difficult when you have the good degrees to get a job, so what about now ? Why everything is just so complicate in this country to change career ? Nothing has been made to change career here, if you don’t have the proper degree in whatever it is, you don’t even get an interview ! And when you have the good degrees and get finally a chance with an interview, they don’t choose you because you’re too young – old – inexperienced – too experienced – not enough fighting – too fighting – too confident – not enough confident* and so on ! Crazy isn’t is ? It’s just like if you don’t have the right to change career and expect to have a successful career at one point in your life.

So yes, now I’m just wondering what will I become next ? What will I do ? Go back to school at 29 years old ? Can I really do this ? I mean, school is so long behind me, I need to work, to earn my money or how could I pay my rent ! Maybe finding a training or something for adult but what kind of training and how much will it cost ? So many questions and so few answers ! I can’t count with the employment office about their help, they just told me to put me as invalid person (so I will not in charge of the employment office !). What !??! I can’t do this!! Having a hernia does not make you as an invalid person ! And what next ? How could I get a job with this invalid state upon my head, write in my file ?! No one would ever hire me for good.

So yes now I’m a little bit lost, wondering a way too many questions and I don’t have any ideas where I should start and mostly how I should do it ? Do you have any advice to help me to change career ? Have you ever needed to change it ?

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Thank you so much for your support !

I couldn’t answer to all your comments because of my busy schedule but it really was helpful and give me the “strong” to go to talk to the boss at the end.

It happens that they don’t like him much neither, and they give me a concert to do alone. Of course I’ve worked a lot to prepare it and you can imagine it that he won’t very helpful (he did everything to put me in trouble even !), but everything went good even great and I’ve learned new things !

To answer to Hugmamma’s, No one knows for this blog (except for my boyfriend and a couple of friends). I don’t talk much about personal things at works because I’m here to work and not to talk about private matters… 🙂

My little Job’s problems seems regardless compares to what happen in Japan and I think to all my japanese friend around the world. I hope they are all good and their family too.

I have to run now… Tonight it will be “Youn Sun Nah’s show“, I can’t wait to see her on stage, she’s just a such beautiful and amazing Jazz Vocal singer. She can really touch my heart.

Love to everyone ! 🙂

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It’s not my use to not feeling happy about something or to want to write about it, but today I feel this is the moment to share this real annoying feeling.

Everything is going good in my new life except for one point, my job ! I do love that job and the people wich I’m working except one… The other guy who’s working on the light with me, the “Other”, the “Official light House manager”. He’s really treating me badly, with no respect for me and the only things that he lets me do is the “Focus”.

What the focus is about ? Well it’s about to climb the extension ladder at something like 14 ft to 16 ft high to move – “focus” the lights. Ok to climb the extension ladder is not a problem, I can do that but it’s more about the way how he talks to me. Instead of calling me by my name, is calling me ” The chinese” or ” the girl”…. Hummm not very respectful I think !! He never explain me anything or give me any information about what is he doing or what he planed to do… He “hired” a young intern girl and I didn’t even know about it, I’ve just discovered it when she introduced to me as a Light’s intern two days ago. I think he wants to make me fired by the “Boss”.

Because of this man and the “mood” in our “team”, I’m not enjoying going to my work the morning. That’s a shame because I like everyone else and I deeply like working in this Concert Hall. I think I’m going to talk about it to the “Boss” of the concert hall but in a certain way, I’m kind of afraid to lose this job because I need it too… I’m just like I don’t really know what to do and I don’t why but I’m loosing my way in front of this ugly man. And when I’m loosing my way, I’m getting like confused of everything and loosing too all my confidence… Argh that’s a terrible feeling !

What do you do when you’re feeling the same ?

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