Posts Tagged ‘Work’

I’ve just realize that’s been a long time since my last post ! I’m truly sorry about it.

I was quite busy this last months and honestly, I didn’t know what to write about and was worrying about finding a new job and what to do at this point of my life.

In few days, I will turn 30 years old and I still don’t have found a new job ! I was applying for some production assistant / manager jobs in movie’s or documentary’s production but I never had any answer. So I’ve changed my mind, try to work for Event’s agencies, my profile fits but I do not have the network. Damn!

So here comes the last solution, going back on “school” again, oups, that’s tough to accept. So ok, here I go but I have to do an adult professional training and that’s not so easy to find and worst, what should I do ? I mean, there is some adult professional training but not something that I will love.

It takes me months to “know” and even then, I’m not so sure that I will “love” it like I loved my previous job. Well, I don’t have any choice isn’t it, I have to deal with my hernia and to work. So when I decided that I could maybe like to be a Community Manager and why not, study HTML5 et CSS 3 to maybe change later into a Web designer.

That’s exactly when I made out my mind about it that I get this job interview for a production manager in a little young films agency that I would love ! They are doing a lot of international films, Ecologist activist, well exactly what I like. Well I still don’t know if I will be hired or not, the job interview will be the 20th of July, so let’s cross our fingers about it !

So lots happened but not so much neither, plus once I’ve blogged in French about all of this, I didn’t want to talk about it in English… I don’t know, maybe because I have said what I wanted to and no need to go back again here about it. I’m not sure if I’m very clear about it ?

Well anyway, I think I’m going to do some effort and to post more often, maybe not every week (I don’t even post that much on my French’s blogs) but at least once in a while every months.


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Will you see this glass half full or half empty ?

That’s a fact, purely and simply the true.

We are pessimist from nature, always looking to the bad happening to us and not the good. We are particularly good to failed in our professional life and not to allowing ourself to be finally happy and to get what we really want. We just use some stupid and crazy excuses like: there is no way that I can do this, this is too complicated / crazy / dangerous / stupid / impossible*.

It’s really occurred to me while I was doing my personal branding with a group of 6 others people. Most of the people present there were doing it because they had to be fired first of their jobs, even if they hated it, to begin to ask themselves the good questions. Is that job was really good for me ? Am I happy in my life ? Am I doing what I want ?

Well of course, I wasn’t exactly in the same situation because I was doing a job that I loved but I can’t do it anymore because of a prolapsed disc (hernia) but mainly because when I wasn’t happy with my previous job (assistant camera in the cinema), I just quit and changed it ! What it seems completely crazy for French people to do ! Why this ? Just because I’ve lost a job situation, a kind of stability and mostly because I won’t have to ask myself what would be the future for me. Well now, I have to find something else that I would like to do but that is another story.

The more crazy / stupid* thing is to stay in a job situation that not makes you happy but even worst that you makes you feel sick / stressed / depressed* !!

Every one around us just telling us, from an unconscious way that we can’t do what we want, we couldn’t achieve it ! We are just programmed to fail. If we succeed in our life that must be because we used our connections, we were really very lucky or pay some people to get what we wanted*.  But never because we were working hard to get what we really wanted in our life !

We just can’t succeed, that’s non-French !

And this state of mind begin in school when we are kids. If we have suddenly one of the best score of a test in school, that’s not because you were working hard at home to study it but because you were cheating ! True story ! Even worst, one of my French teachers breaks me down in front of all the class because she couldn’t accept that I’ve written alone a home work’s essay, no for her it was too good to be my paper, it has to be my parent’s essay ! Yep that’s right !! So instead of having a good score and some compliments, I’ve been humiliated in front of everyone and got a really bad score ! What was the result of it ? Well I’ve been writing the next essays to “fit” to her bad student’s standard, that means a way down my owns ! I guess in her mind, a girl would not spend her time to read books on her spare time instead of watching TV. That’s quite sad isn’t it ?

Yes we are programmed to failed, to be unhappy and to communicated our depressed feelings in some kind of way.

Take this simple example, someone who is simply happy in his / her life, smiling will make others jealous of him / her ! The morning, instead of telling something nice and lovely when we meet someone, we just kiss on the check, barely tells a “good morning” and every one is going to do his / her tasks of the day. No compliments, no nice words !

Where are the positive and lovely thoughts to share with others ? Does one person happy and optimist will not pass her happiness and good state of mind to her entourage ?

Why we, French people, are not good to this ? Why are we so pessimist instead of being such lovely and optimist people ?

* Delete where inapplicable

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I’m not in the mood to write today.

I can’t put my thoughts together, I can’t think clearly because the only think who really is obsessing me lately is about my professional life. What will I do next ? What job that I like can I do ?

I know that I could find some jobs just for the money as a waitress or in a shop but that’s not something that I like, it will just be to pay the rent, just earning money. That will be ok for a couple of months maybe more or maybe less but will come a day where I will have enough of it and will want to do something that I will really like.

But here’s the problem : I don’t know what I will really like to do ! It seems silly but I likes work in the cinema before, then one day I had enough, then I really liked to work in the theatre / music but my body just told me that it wasn’t ok. So here am I… Lost in my thoughts and with no idea or any clues about what I will become next.

Working in the publishing world ? In the communication or as a RP ? Advertising ‘s world ? Cinema or music production ? I don’t know !! I even had an idea about opening a coffee bookshop store…

I have to change for the third time of work ( I don’t count all the students and summer jobs that I had of course… ) and this time I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to miss the good jobs for me.

So I’m trying so hardly to think about this question: What do I really like to do ? But it seems like to be a foolish question, the most impressive brainstorming at the end. I don’t know, I just don’t know.

How a such simple question like this one could be the most difficult to answer ?

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Well I have to admit this last couple of weeks have not been the best of the year. I can easely resume it this way:

  1. Trying to get an quick appointment with a a rheumatologost
  2. Reading to killing time between calls
  3. Finally getting an appointment after 5 days of calls !
  4. Waiting to see the doctor and reading
  5. Finally going to see the doctor
  6. Have to wait one more week without painkiller to know how I feel now
  7. Going back to the doctor
  8. Going better but I can’t carrying weight anymore.

So yes I’m recovering and I will going better but if I don’t want to have a surgery in the next years, my rheumatologist strongly recommend me to not carrying weight anymore, so to strongly think about changing job.

Well he did not tell me to change job exactly but to think about what kind of job I could do in theatre without carrying heavy things… And honestly, have you ever seen lot of stage manager who do not carrying weight, do you ? Because I don’t… Plus, they already take the decision they do not needed me at my work. So no more job for me in this theatre / music hall…

so what's next ? So honestly, I’m feeling a little bit down right now. I’ve the feeling to be to the exact same point than a year ago, except maybe than now I’m living with my awesome boyfriend. I’ve just changed career and now I’m here wondering the same questions again….

What will I do with my life ? What should I do, what would I love to do ? What can I do as career ?

That’s really not easy specially when you have a cinema degree ! What the hell can I do with an art degree in this world ? How could I expect to change job when in France it’s already difficult when you have the good degrees to get a job, so what about now ? Why everything is just so complicate in this country to change career ? Nothing has been made to change career here, if you don’t have the proper degree in whatever it is, you don’t even get an interview ! And when you have the good degrees and get finally a chance with an interview, they don’t choose you because you’re too young – old – inexperienced – too experienced – not enough fighting – too fighting – too confident – not enough confident* and so on ! Crazy isn’t is ? It’s just like if you don’t have the right to change career and expect to have a successful career at one point in your life.

So yes, now I’m just wondering what will I become next ? What will I do ? Go back to school at 29 years old ? Can I really do this ? I mean, school is so long behind me, I need to work, to earn my money or how could I pay my rent ! Maybe finding a training or something for adult but what kind of training and how much will it cost ? So many questions and so few answers ! I can’t count with the employment office about their help, they just told me to put me as invalid person (so I will not in charge of the employment office !). What !??! I can’t do this!! Having a hernia does not make you as an invalid person ! And what next ? How could I get a job with this invalid state upon my head, write in my file ?! No one would ever hire me for good.

So yes now I’m a little bit lost, wondering a way too many questions and I don’t have any ideas where I should start and mostly how I should do it ? Do you have any advice to help me to change career ? Have you ever needed to change it ?

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Today it’s Sunday but it’s also a working day for me.
I’m not feeling like I want to work but more like staying at home watching DVD or some TV Show but mostly staring my clock !
Why this? Well mainly because my boyfriend is coming back in town !! He was on tour for 10 days and believe me or not, it was a very long 10 days… Humm That must be Love!!
So yes, as I’m writing I’m on my way to work, in the metro, using Worpress for IPhone, but I just can’t wait for tonight!!

Ok I have to go now because that is really tough to write with my IPhone and I’m getting closer of my last stop. 🙂

Have a wonderful Sunday !!

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I don’t have time to write this last couple of weeks and it really missed me so much ! I couldn’t go to read your blogs, what is really a shame.

Tomorrow I will have a day off !!! At least, after 2 weeks without any days off, I could enjoy to watch a movie with a friend, cleaning and tidy up my home sweet home (I really have too unfortunately, I was too busy working from 8 am to midnight everyday or almost everyday…) and of course doing absolutely nothing ( except maybe writing a post to you) of my day ! Great !!!

Yes I’m working too today, the first artist tonight have just performed on stage and now I’m waiting for the main artist.

This is completely crazy here ! This young artist got so many fans ! All woman principally so watch out my ears, there is gonna have a lot of screaming tonight….. That’s funny because his got lot of teenagers girls as fan but lot of mid forty’s woman too as well ! Some of the girls where already sleeping in front of the main entrance of the Concert Hall at 1am this morning ( I had to close the “House” )

I think it can even be a little bit scary… We had to be very carefully about security all day because of the fans !

Ohh the show is about to start in less of 10 min now, this is the end of the change-over, I have to go.

Love to everyone !!!

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Hello everyone !

It’s 1 am right now and I can’t stop thinking about this such crazy week ! I don’t know how to start and I don’t even know if I could explain it… I just know that the boss want to give me the job of Lighting House manager at least until June ! Of course I’m not very experimented, still learning the job if I can say !

I will work every day until the 14th of February for what I know ! No days off at all I’m afraid ! hopefully I do have a good time working with the crew and specially with the “Sound master”, his console is just near mine, so we have a lot of time to talk and to tell jokes all the time. That’s really funny because all the girls in “Robin Hood’s musical” are into him ! Well I have to admit that he is a lovely men… So I’m calling him now ” Joli Coeur”… Every time he is blushing ! 🙂

I will try one day to take some photos of the light / sound booth to show you where I’m working.

Ok it’s time for me to go to bed ! I will work at 12 am tomorrow ! 🙂 Have a Great sunday !!

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